The festive season can be hard for many older adults. London (PA Media/dpa) – New heartbreaking statistics from Age UK have shone a much-needed light on the worrying extent of loneliness and social isolation amongst the older generation in the UK this Christmas. As part of its A Crisis Hiding in Plain Sight campaign, Age UK has revealed that one in two (6.3 million) say they no longer experience the joy they once felt during the festive season. The charity also estimates that 1.5 million older people will eat Christmas dinner alone, and 670,000 won’t see or speak to anyone at all on Christmas Day. These findings are based on data from Yonder’s online and telephone survey of 2,659 UK adults aged 65+ and were weighted to be representative of the UK population. In light of these concerning figures, we spoke with Ruth Lowe, head of loneliness services at Age UK, about why this time of year can be especially difficult for some older adults. She has also outlined six subtle signs that might indicate someone may be feeling lonely and has offered some practical suggestions on how to support them. Why is this time of year particularly tough for some older adults? “Loneliness and social isolation are big issues for older people all year round, but we know that the winter and the festive period are particularly tough,” says Lowe. “Winter is difficult because it gets darker earlier and is so much colder, which it can make it harder for older people to get out and about. Lots of services also close down over the festive period. “In addition, Christmas is also a time when we’re surrounded by images in the media of family and friends being happy together and for someone who doesn’t have that, it can just increase that feeling of invisibility and being completely alone.” The older generation also often struggle to ask for help. “We do often hear from a lot of older people that they feel ashamed or embarrassed about their feelings of loneliness, and obviously they absolutely shouldn’t,” says Lowe. “I think younger people often feel more comfortable to talk about their mental health and how they’re feeling, and older people often feel that this is something that they don’t want to burden other people with.” Here are six subtle signs of loneliness loved ones can look out for… Changes in behaviour and mood “One of the first things to look out for is changes in behaviour or mood,” highlights Lowe. “If you know that person well and you notice that they are being more emotional or angry or just behaving differently, that can be a sign that they might be experiencing loneliness.” Negative self talk “Talking quite negatively about themselves in a way that they haven’t before might also indicate loneliness, because loneliness can really start to chip away at someone’s self worth and make them feel quite worthless,” says Lowe. Withdrawing “Withdrawing from things they once enjoyed and saying things like ‘people won’t want me there, I don’t want to go’ might indicate that they are feeling lonely,” says Lowe. Self neglect “People feel quite low when they are lonely, so they might begin to stop taking care of themselves or their homes,” says Lowe. “You might see changes in their appearance or in their surroundings.” Substance misuse “Some people who feel lonely may even start misusing drugs or alcohol,” says Lowe. Lengthy chats or phone calls “Simple things like trying to extend conversations or spend more time with you on the phone, or when you do see them not wanting to let you go, could indicate that they’re really craving that connection and trying to hold onto that,” says Lowe. Here are some tips on how to help… Start a conversation about it “If you do notice any changes and have concerns, just ask them about how they’re feeling and let them know you’re always there to listen and to talk,” advises Lowe. “You don’t have to ask them outright if they’re lonely, but just letting somebody know that there is someone there who is able to listen can make a huge difference.” Choose your setting wisely “Try and have this conversation in a time and space that you know the person will feel comfortable in,” recommends Lowe. “Try and do it when you’ve got the time to properly talk about it in case they do want to open up to you there and then.” Be patient “Be prepared for the fact that they might not feel ready to open up on the first conversation,” says Lowe. “Give them lots of time and patience.” Let them lead “You could try to say something like, ‘oh I noticed you’ve seemed a little different recently, is there anything you’d like to talk about?'” suggests Lowe. “Let the conversation be led by them and let them talk about it at their own pace.” Be reassuring “If you are worried about a loved one reassure them that you are there for them and there are lots of people who feel the same way,” says Lowe. “Help them understand that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. “Letting them know that you care, that their feelings are valid and they’re important to you can really make a huge difference to someone experiencing loneliness.” Try to minimise your reaction “If they do open up, try not to lean into pity or embarrassment because sometimes our reactions can cause someone else to close up,” says Lowe. Signpost helpful services “Age UK provides a wide range of local services such as festive lunches over the Christmas period,” says Lowe. “There are also national services available such as the Silver Line Helpline (0800 4 70 80 90), which is free to call 24 hours a day, seven days a week, including Christmas Day, for any older person that needs to talk. “In addition, you could let your loved one know that they could also speak to their carer, GP or another friend. It’s just about letting them know there’s people out there who care and want to help.” The following information is not intended for publication dpa pa arw
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